"The reports of my death...

...are greatly exaggerated."  

~Mark Twain, May 1897 

~The Life Despotic with Ivan Zissou, May 2010

That's right, dear readers, this blog still lives.  My dearest apologies for the excessive delay in postings.  Certain unfortunate real world events have demanded the Captain's attention these past two weeks (lack of inspiration being one of those "events").  To make it up to you, I'm returning to the blogosphere in a Big way.  In fact, I write not only to announce the continued existence of this blog but also to announce the birth of another.  While this blog was originally envisioned as a way for friends and relatives to stay informed of my exploits in Russia (see: first post), it has since warped into something much more absurd and frightening.

I had been thinking about splitting off the serious stuff into a new blog for some time, and now that I've learned where I'm going to be stationed next year, I decided it was time.  Essentially, I couldn't imagine my grandmother scrolling past Tool Academy recaps and long-winded diatribes on Friedrich Engels to get to the actual news on my whereabouts.  Thus, it is with the utmost fanfare that I announce Karelia or Bust!  Check it out for my first official post.  It's still very much a work in progress, but at least it's a start.

But that's not all, dear readers!  After all, I said back in a Big way (note the capital "b").  Later today the Life Despotic will feature yet another post (NOW WITH NEW CONTENT!).  It shall be the Life Despotic's first double post, and, together with the new blog, equates to three posts in one day for your reading consumption.  Stay tuned, folks.

From the virtual desk of Ivan Zissou

dictated but not read

cth

And now for something completely different...

This is my first attempt at a blog post on my first attempt at a blog.  I'm unaccustomed to writing to myself, which I presume will constitute the majority of my audience, so we'll just see what comes of it.  I've conceived this blog as an efficient means to keep interested parties informed of my exploits and whereabouts in the next academic year as I pursue a Fulbright grant in Russia.  FULL DISCLOSURE: This idea is mainly born out of my laziness and not wanting to take the time to write out 20+ emails every week.  Think of this as your one-stop shop for all things Dusty-in-Russia™.

**Now with free shipping!  Optional rewards program coming soon!**

While this blog will primarily be a vehicle for me to record my struggle to sow the seeds of revolution promote cross-cultural understanding in rural Russia, depending on my level of:

     1) Boredom;

     2) Internet access;

     and C) Freedom from prison and/or Siberian gulag,

the blog could feature such diverse and sure-to-be-thrilling material as: lessons in Russian and English grammar, movie reviews, literary criticism, discussions of spacetime and the possible ramifications of blackholes on said phenomenon, haiku poetry, international fútbol commentary, philosophical ramblings, exclusive interviews with long-dead historical figures, nonsensical lists like this one, viewer mail specials, inane trivia challenges, and so, so, so much more.

If that doesn't pique your interest, it means you've still too many brain cells.  I've found a very effective cure for this unfortunate malady is to stand squarely facing the nearest wall and steadily strike one's forehead upon it.  I find it especially effective if done to the rhythm of "Staying Alive" by the Bee Gees, but I'm sure there are other good ones out there.  Don't be afraid to share your favorites!

SEGUE: Speaking of sharing, if you do plan on following my blog I'd encourage you to sign up for a Blogger™ account in case you ever care to comment on a post.  Doing so would also put you in a position to take part in the aforementioned viewer mail specials and inane trivia challenges (the latter may include authentic Russian trinkets as prizes!).  Don't miss out on the chance of a Tuesday afternoon lifetime!

From the virtual desk of Ivan Zissou

dictated but not read
cth