Ahoy, Lifers. I don't like to think of myself as an irritable guy. Doesn't mean I'm not, just means I don't like to think about it. Lately, however, I've been noticing more and more the small things that happen with some regularity in my everyday life that seem to rub me the wrong way (that's what she said?). As a wise person once said that blogs are simply places for us to complain, I've decided to dedicate this post to those minor annoyances that pester us to no end. I'll start with mine, but I want to hear from you, Lifers. What are those little things that you just can't stand?
1) When I turn on the hot water faucet in a public restroom to wash my hands and the water never gets anything other than ice cold.
2) Every suggestion Microsoft Word's grammar check has ever made. Ever.
3) When the person driving in front of me slows down to almost a complete stop, THEN puts on his turn signal. It's a signal for me to know you're going to turn, buddy; it doesn't work if you're ALREADY TURNING.
4) Every Facebook invitation I've ever gotten for some game about the Mafia or Wizards, or to become a "fan" of some inane Youtube video, or to join some group dedicated to a cause I've never heard of. I feel this is amplified by the fact that these invitations always seem to come from: A) people I haven't talked to in more than five years; or B) people I've never talked to.
5) People merging with high-speed traffic that don't understand the meaning of the word "yield"; or, alternatively, people merging with high-speed traffic who think, "Eh, I'll accelerate when I get there."
6) When I put my money into a vending machine, select my beverage of choice, the icon says "VEND" and I can hear the thing working, but nothing comes out.
7) Exact same as above but instead of nothing I get the wrong thing. In fact, I hate this more. The former is just a mechanical deficiency; this is a betrayal. We had an unspoken contract, Coke machine!
8) When someone leaves me a voicemail simply telling me to call them back. Yeah, I got that from the fact that I missed your call. I didn't need to go through my clunky and annoying voicemail to figure it out. Voicemails are for substance, people.
9) When the bus is standing-room-only packed and some jackass is sitting in the outside seat of a two-seat row with the inside empty. Who are you, the Queen Mum?
10) When the T9 word function on my phone doesn't recognize the word I'm trying to spell, so I have to manipulate it to type it out by letter groups without going through the bother of switching back to the ABC function.
So what grinds your gears, Lifers? You don't have to list ten as I did, but feel free to opine freely. Let's make this place interactive!
From the virtual desk of Ivan Zissou
dictated but not read
cth
