And oh how they danced...

"I think that the problem may have been that there was Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf."

From the virtual desk of Ivan Zissou

dictated but not read
cth

Reality TV Monday: Tool Academy Week 3 Analysis

Ahoy Lifers, this is your Captain sprechen.  It's Monday again, which means another thrilling installment of everyone's favorite weekly VD public service announcement, Tool Academy.  We're just three weeks in, yet what a long, strange trip it's already been.  I can already feel a deep connection to the lives of our errant and ebullient tools.  Though seeing as it feels like a vague burning sensation, it could very well be that I've simply contracted gonorrhea from subjecting myself to this filth.  GONORRHEA: The Silent Killer™.  Last week's episode on fidelity was a barn-burner.  It had everything you want in a Tool Academy episode: fights, kites, jeers, and, of course, Angelo's tears.  Can this week possibly live up to that same impossible standard?  Well, if you're reading this before I update with the full post, you'll just have to wait.  It's too late to devote the next hour to composing the perfect recap and analysis, but I wanted to put something down to get in under the midnight deadline.  I'd hate to see Reality TV Monday bleed into Meatloaf Tuesdays.  Stay tuned!

UPDATE: Full recap is now available after the jump.  I'd apologize for the delay, but as a rule Captain Zissou never apologizes.

I'm joking.  I'll do anything for laughs, but I won't do that.