Ahoy, Lifers. I don't like to think of myself as an irritable guy. Doesn't mean I'm not, just means I don't like to think about it. Lately, however, I've been noticing more and more the small things that happen with some regularity in my everyday life that seem to rub me the wrong way (that's what she said?). As a wise person once said that blogs are simply places for us to complain, I've decided to dedicate this post to those minor annoyances that pester us to no end. I'll start with mine, but I want to hear from you, Lifers. What are those little things that you just can't stand?
1) When I turn on the hot water faucet in a public restroom to wash my hands and the water never gets anything other than ice cold.
2) Every suggestion Microsoft Word's grammar check has ever made. Ever.
3) When the person driving in front of me slows down to almost a complete stop, THEN puts on his turn signal. It's a signal for me to know you're going to turn, buddy; it doesn't work if you're ALREADY TURNING.
4) Every Facebook invitation I've ever gotten for some game about the Mafia or Wizards, or to become a "fan" of some inane Youtube video, or to join some group dedicated to a cause I've never heard of. I feel this is amplified by the fact that these invitations always seem to come from: A) people I haven't talked to in more than five years; or B) people I've never talked to.
5) People merging with high-speed traffic that don't understand the meaning of the word "yield"; or, alternatively, people merging with high-speed traffic who think, "Eh, I'll accelerate when I get there."
6) When I put my money into a vending machine, select my beverage of choice, the icon says "VEND" and I can hear the thing working, but nothing comes out.
7) Exact same as above but instead of nothing I get the wrong thing. In fact, I hate this more. The former is just a mechanical deficiency; this is a betrayal. We had an unspoken contract, Coke machine!
8) When someone leaves me a voicemail simply telling me to call them back. Yeah, I got that from the fact that I missed your call. I didn't need to go through my clunky and annoying voicemail to figure it out. Voicemails are for substance, people.
9) When the bus is standing-room-only packed and some jackass is sitting in the outside seat of a two-seat row with the inside empty. Who are you, the Queen Mum?
10) When the T9 word function on my phone doesn't recognize the word I'm trying to spell, so I have to manipulate it to type it out by letter groups without going through the bother of switching back to the ABC function.
So what grinds your gears, Lifers? You don't have to list ten as I did, but feel free to opine freely. Let's make this place interactive!
From the virtual desk of Ivan Zissou
dictated but not read
cth
7) Exact same as above but instead of nothing I get the wrong thing. In fact, I hate this more. The former is just a mechanical deficiency; this is a betrayal. We had an unspoken contract, Coke machine!
8) When someone leaves me a voicemail simply telling me to call them back. Yeah, I got that from the fact that I missed your call. I didn't need to go through my clunky and annoying voicemail to figure it out. Voicemails are for substance, people.
9) When the bus is standing-room-only packed and some jackass is sitting in the outside seat of a two-seat row with the inside empty. Who are you, the Queen Mum?
10) When the T9 word function on my phone doesn't recognize the word I'm trying to spell, so I have to manipulate it to type it out by letter groups without going through the bother of switching back to the ABC function.
So what grinds your gears, Lifers? You don't have to list ten as I did, but feel free to opine freely. Let's make this place interactive!
From the virtual desk of Ivan Zissou
dictated but not read
cth
5 comments:
1) repeats in the middle of a season (ie psych, grey's, you know who you are tv shows).
2) dishes in the sink.
3) clean dishes in the dishwasher. who in the world am i related to?
4) people taking up two seats on the train.
5) bags and purses that need their own seat on the train. come'on ladies, that's why god invented laps.
6) a roll of toilet paper with one square left on it. really? really?
7) having to teach people how to use basic functions on word and excel. "let me show you a handy-dandy website called 'google', it will solve all of your inadequacies".
8) "poking" on facebook.
9) anyone who feels the need to tickle me. i'm 24.
10) when people call me "kid". let me iterate from the previous post, i'm 24. your ability to use that term with me expired when i turned 18... no, make that 10.
Ha! I love your blunt rationale for number nine. Also, totally on the in-season repeats and Facebook poking.
I forgot another one that I'd like to add:
11) When I'm on an elevator going up multiple floors, and someone gets on as the door is closing to go to the second floor. Come on, really? It's a flight of stairs, people. (This mostly only applies to ostensibly healthy people in my age bracket)
1. The bird outside my window who just loves to squawk starting at about 4:00am every single day.
2. Folding laundry. So tedious.
3. Seeing children on leashes.
4. "Txt" spelling.
5. Going to the grocery store during peak hours.
6. Moms and Dads who do not take care of their kids (or take them home) when they are screaming or running around. This is especially irritating at Target, the grocery store, and any restaurant. It's even more irritating when they act as if the childrens' behavior is out of their control as parents.
7. Drivers who hang out in the left lane forever, especially when they are next to another car and travelling at the same speed. How do they not notice the other cars behind them who want to get by?
8. Speed bumps. They are excessive.
9. Slow internet service.
That's all I can think of! I totally agree on the turn signal thing. And related to the voicemail comment, there are definitely people out there who won't call back UNLESS you leave a voicemail asking them to. I agree that this is unnecessary.
Oh, and I totally agree with Chelsea on show repeats. So stupid!
1. People
2. Cats
3. Spam e-mail
4. People who call themselves "socially liberal" and "fiscally conservative."
5. Cleveland and Pittsburgh
6. Humidity
7. The business hours of banks.
8. Facial piercings. Not ear, facial.
9. Owl City.
10. The entire shopping mall experience.
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