journey releases album without steve perry

The other 6,697,254,036 people on the planet ask, "what's the point?"

From the virtual desk of Ivan Zissou

dictated but not read
cth

happy birthday america!

From the virtual desk of Ivan Zissou

dictated but not read
cth

my country tis of thee

I've been watching a lot of the World Cup lately, and it just wouldn't be an international football match without the playing of anthems beforehand.  After hearing select anthems of the various participant countries, I decided to do a little research (read: Youtube) into the national songs of the countries of the world to learn more about them.  Therefore, I have compiled for you my picks for the best and worst anthems.  Keep in mind this is my opinion, therefore it should be treated as divine law; differences of opinion will not be tolerated.  We'll start with the bad ones to get some controversy going.  Let's begin, shall we?

steal this record

I have a lot of weird stuff on my iPod.  I'm sure you do as well, being the music lover and Apple supporter you inevitably are.  In my tradition of telling you what to do, what to think and what to like, therefore, I've decided to recommend a few albums you've never heard of that are worth a listen.  They are diverse, spanning genre and eras, and they're all available on iTunes!  (EDITOR'S NOTE: Despite claims to the contrary, all featured albums are not currently available on iTunes.)  If you've got any of your own suggestions, feel free to share in the comments section.

Lola Versus Powerman and the Moneygoround, Part One

The Kinks

Released November 27, 1970

Sample

First of all, yes.  Best title ever.  Second of all, also yes.  These are the same Kinks that became famous for their three-chord, radio filler pop hits "You Really Got Me" and "All Day and All of the Night."  I thought that was all they ever did before I found this album; turns out the group went on to record some real music.  This album is classic early seventies rock, with killer riffs and some steel guitar to boot.  Lest you think it's just a clever title, the album does, in fact, contain songs entitled "Lola," "Powerman," and "The Moneygoround."  There's also a song called "Apeman."  So there.  In terms of sound and concept, it's a little like Sergeant Pepper-era Beatles meets the Guess Who, which isn't a bad combo at all.  I highly recommend it.

Rules
The Whitest Boy Alive
Released March 30, 2009
Sample


I know.  Best band name ever.  If you're noticing that the music I like seems to be based more on kitschy names than actual music, you're totally right it's just a coincidence, I swear.  From the realms of European indie electric pop comes The Whitest Boy Alive, a new(ish) group that knows how to put down a fat beat.  This boy may be white, but he's got some funk.  The rhythms on this album are toe-tapping, the vocals are mellow and laid back, and some of the lyrics are subtly humorous.  The obvious stand out tracks are "Keep a Secret," and "1517," but the best of the rest--"Courage," "Timebomb," and "High on the Heels"--more than hold their own.  Perhaps the best thing I can say about this album is there isn't a track on it I'd call "weak."  As with any electric pop album, it all starts to sound the same if you listen to it in one marathon session.  But if you are known to throw spontaneous dance parties, this is the album for you.

The Life Aquatic Studio Sessions
Seu Jorge
Released November 22, 2005
Sample


Bowie unplugged.  In Portuguese.  Easily one of the most obscure things on my iPod.  So not only did Wes Anderson have the genius to cast Brazilian pop star Seu Jorge in The Life Aquatic as a Bowie-crooning crewman, he had the good sense to release Jorge's covers on vinyl (okay, so they don't release albums on vinyl anymore, but it sounds better than almost-pure polycarbonate plastic).  The album features fourteen Bowie covers from the Ziggy Stardust era and one original composition.  It's just Jorge and his guitar, and it's friggin' brilliant (and I don't speak a word of Portuguese).  All of the arrangements are excellent, with some ("Starman," "Rebel Rebel") rivaling Bowie's originals.  While I don't understand a word he says, Jorge's basso vocals are soulful and oddly soothing, and his picking and strumming is deceptively good.  The stripped down nature of these songs actually gave me a better appreciation for Bowie's versions, as the single acoustic guitar allows the melody to come to the front.  If you're in need of some relaxation, turn this bad boy on, put your feet up, and tune out.  There's nothing better.

From the virtual desk of Ivan Zissou

dictated but not read
cth

let it out and let it in

Random thoughts from the Mind Despotic:

• Recently I've noticed an alarming new trend on the interwebs that I call Red Syndrome.  Simply put, people suffering from Red Syndrome labor under the terribly misguided idea that the word 'ridiculous' is, in fact, spelled 'rediculous.'  Have you seen this?  I don't remember noticing it before as widespread, but now that I've recognized it I see it everywhere.  It's driving me more than a little crazy.  I blame Bono and his damn (red) campaign.

• Indisputable proof that Paul McCartney is more talented than Fergie.  Excerpt from "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie: "And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket."  Excerpt from "Hey Jude" by the Beatles: "Well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder."  You don't get named a knight of the realm without knowing to avoid the singular they!  Your move, Fergie.

• (The following post is about the 2010 FIFA World Cup.  For the full experience, open this page in a new window before reading.)  For any of you readers out there following the World Cup that are also fans of bad teen movies from the nineties, I'm sure you noticed the obvious parallels between the French national team and the West Canaan Coyotes from Varsity Blues.  Both had hard-nosed coaches the team couldn't stand.  In both cases, the coach and the star player got into a dramatic fight during halftime.  And finally, both teams ultimately refused to play for their coaches.  So way to go, France.  You're a knockoff of a bad movie starring this guy.  One thing I've got to give the movie, however, is it features one of the greatest quotes of all time.

• Things I can no longer take seriously thanks to Arrested Development: ice cream sandwiches, "The Final Countdown" by Europe, combination analyst/therapists or 'analrapists,' chicken impersonations, nevernudes, puppets named Franklin, Carl Weathers, Legoland, prosthetic hands, the word 'hermano,' ether, club sauce, and airport stair cars.

From the virtual desk of Ivan Zissou

dictated but not read
cth

everyone loves a slinky

From the virtual desk of Ivan Zissou

dictated but not read
cth

are you there blog? it's me margaret

Welcome to a special late night edition of the Life Despotic.  It's time to slip into that comfy robe, settle into your favorite armchair, and let the Captain take you to a world of brooding vampires and brash werewolves.  I'm kidding.  Can you imagine?  In fact, I'll just go ahead and declare right now that even if Cedric Diggory himself offers me an exclusive interview, the Life Despotic will never feature Twilight.  Instead, this post is dedicated to a more worthwhile pursuit: late night television.

Tonight, due to combination of insomnia, sunburn, and severe lack of tryptophan-rich Thanksgiving turkey in my apartment, I've temporarily given up my pursuit of sleep in favor of my good friend Samsung.  As you are no doubt aware, late night programming makes for some of the best television viewing one can find.  Tonight, my own Sophie's choice was between an episode of Kourtney & Khloé Take Miami on E! in which the titular Khloé Kardashian burns her lady parts during a bikini wax-gone-bad and an episode of MANswers on SpikeTV in which the Epicurean show producers seek out the answer to that eternal question of how far one can throw a dwarf.  I picked MANswers, which I want to say was the high road, but I have no confidence in that claim.  Your call, readers.  FULL DISCLOSURE: All right, fine.  My decision wasn't guided by any sense of moral decency; I had already seen that episode of K & K.  Just remember that this is a judgment-free zone.

Right, so: MANswers.  If you're not familiar with the show, you've obviously made better choices in life than I.  It really is quite odious.  How odious, you say?  Consider the questions contained in tonight's episode:

• "How many brewskies can a guy drink before he drops dead?"

• "He looks like a drug dealer; how can a guy find out if he's really a narc?"

• "Banging chicks is great!  But what if they're all gone?  What kind of animal is most like a woman?"

• And, of course: "How far can you toss a dwarf?"

I wish so many things, readers.  I wish I were kidding.  I wish I could watch television at 2:18 in the morning without being confronted with the moral ramifications of zoophilia.  Mostly, I wish I had just turned off the TV and gone to sleep.  But before we get to the inevitable answers, let's hear a quick word from our sponsors.

COMMERCIAL BREAK: The only thing better than late night TV is late night TV advertising.  Except for those annoying Girls Gone Wild videos.  Are they still making those things?  Because they're still advertising them.  You could tell me they're still using the commercial they made in 2001 and I would totally believe you.  Anyways, tonight's best commercial was an interview with Super Bowl-winning super coach Jimmy Johnson.  Now, this guy is a football legend.  He's one of only two coaches to win both an NCAA national championship and a Super Bowl (and he won two).  So what's he hocking now?  His own grill?  A clothing line maybe?  Wrong.  He's the new spokesman for Extenze, the drug for all-natural male enhancement.  Seriously.  I mean, I totally get it from the Extenze marketing team's point of view.  The guy's name is Johnson, for chrissakes.  But what are you doing, Jimmy?  How did it come to this?  Are you that hard up for money?  Okay, admittedly, I could have used better phrasing in that last question, but my point is, you could have just called, Jimmy.  I would've lent you a few bucks.

(Insert joke as to the possibility that a given object may or may not be in his pocket here.)

Okay, and now I've just seen a promo for a show called Half-Pint Brawlers that apparently features a cast of little people.  That's it, I'm done.  I disgust myself.  But since I promised you answers, here they are in no particular order.  See if you can match them to the right question: recently grown beard and dark sunglasses; 18; 12'9"; a dugong.  That's right, a friggin' dugong.

I need a shower.

From the virtual cesspool of Ivan Zissou

dictated but not read
cth